tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
