Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize