Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
