i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
