Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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