Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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