do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
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Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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