the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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