Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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