I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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