i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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