I'm really into asian looking animals
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My ass is underappreciated
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
