is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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