Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
