im having a threesome with these popsicles
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
