on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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