some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize