Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
