try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
