Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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