Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
