so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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