i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
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Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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