i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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