wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize