He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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