I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
