I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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