All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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