He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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