I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
