Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize