Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
