Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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