absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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