They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
