i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
