How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She bit a glass in half.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
