nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My vagina is officially offended.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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