do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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