her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
