he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
