3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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