How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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