I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
