So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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