I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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