I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Come see our sink grown plant.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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