I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
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the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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