One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
