In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
