You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
