i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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