I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize