dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
