i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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