gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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