You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar