ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom