Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
you made out with another girl for some wings