omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
