the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize