Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Boobs are out for the taking
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.