dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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