So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
