Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
